So, I've started a blog!

It feels rather surreal but after about 1.5 years of lurking on multiple blogs about adoption, single motherhood, etc. I have actually decided to start my own blog!  I give credit to Paige, one of the afore mentioned bloggers, who encouraged me to give blogging a shot.  I don't have any illusions that anyone else will be interested in this blog, but hopefully it will be a place where I can process my thoughts, fears, challenges and joys and also serve as a type of journal that I can look back on in the future.

 

The whole adoption process is overwhelming, which is why I've been internally processing things for several YEARS before I am now about ready to "jump" and start actively pursuing adoption.  Reading single women's blogs has really helped me, because part of me still wonders if I can do this all on my own.  I'm scared, to be honest!  But, I know I'm not getting any younger so I'm going to go for it!

 

I am planning to do an international adoption, for several reasons.  With domestic adoption, the birth mother is in "control" and of course gets to pick the parents she wants her child to have.  I assume that a single person like me would not necessary be at the top of the list for a birth mother.  I totally understand that in ideal circumstances a baby would have a mother and a father so I don't begrudge them that.  However, I also don't want to potentially wait years to be picked. 

 

Also with domestic adoption, open adoption seems to be the current trend and I feel somewhat uncomfortable with that prospect.  Both of my nephews are adopted and I see regularly the pros and cons of open adoptions.  I like the annonymity of international adoption, but I know for my child that will have some potentially serious down-sides as well.

 

I have basically ruled out foster to adopt, but I know it is a very realistic option for single women.  My parents were foster parents when I was a teenager and we got a baby girl at 6 months who lived with us for over 2 years.  It broke all of our hearts when she went back to her birth parents and I'm not sure I could handle that as a potential mom.  However, my SIL is a SW and she tells me that they typically have a good gauge of which kids will likely be put up for adoption and try to place them with families who want to adopt from the very start.  My parents weren't specifically trying to adopt, but after 2 years she felt like "ours" so it was pretty traumatic.

 

I have pretty much decided to adopt throught the waiting child program from China.  These kids have moderate to severe special needs, but you are able to give input on what you can "handle" so I certainly would not have to take a child with a condition that seems more than I could manage on my own.  Something like a cleft palate or large birth marks is something that would cause a child to be on this list...I can handle that! 

 

The cost internationally is high, probably will be around $25,000.  But, my SIL just reminded me that it cost $17,000 for them to adopt my youngest nephew so either way it is not cheap.  Thank goodness for the federal tax credit!  Finances is one thing I am still trying to figure out before I start applying, etc.  I am going to talk to some family members who MIGHT want to help, and then check into some options for low interest rate loans.  It's a bit of an unknown right now for me, unfortunately.

 

The talk is that Vietnam and Cambodia will be opening up for adoptions again this year, so it is possible that single women might be able to adopt from there as well.  However, I'm not sure that I want to wait another 6 months or longer before getting started (and then possibly find out that they are not an option for me), so I have almost ruled that option out at this point.

 

I guess this concludes my first post...cue the clapping and celebration!  Hopefully it's just the first of many.  In a way, I feel like I've just started the adoption process, because you're not really on the journey until you're writing humorous and heart-felt blog posts about it, right?  OK, then!  "Aaannnddd...she's off!"